【最后的12章之8】支持的力量

野田:

我听说过这样一个故事。

有一个年轻人,他犯了错,被判入狱。许久,他的家人没有来看他。当他看到其他狱友的家人带着好吃的食物来看他们时,他的心里很不高兴,也责怪爸爸妈妈。

终于有一天,狱长说有人来看他了。进到会客室,他见到他的妈妈,身上很肮张,鞋子烂了,脚上也长了水泡。妈妈的背后,背着一个骨灰缸。

原来,他家很穷,爸爸是一个农夫。家里离开监狱很远。爸爸为了筹钱来看他,拼命做工而累死了。爸爸的最后遗愿是要看他一面,所以妈妈背着爸爸的骨灰缸一路走来看他了。

听说这是个真实的故事,也好像被拍成一部电影。

周一是死囚见家人的日子

这里,每个星期一,是家人见死囚的日子。

我的家人也住得很远。还好,有两个哥哥在新加坡的酒店里工作。他们向公司申请星期一放假来看我。我听哥哥说,这么多年来,每个星期一,他都会见到一位妇人, 拐着拐着,头发由黑变白,来看她的家人,可能是孩子吧。还有,律师也说过,有一位死囚的爸爸,每个星期一的凌晨三点,从新山驾摩多过来,为了赶在最早的时 间看他的儿子。

所以,我们算是很幸福的死囚。

VK Brother's Yun Leong

感谢仍有兄弟的支持陪伴

其实,当我们的生命被冠上“死囚”两个字的时候,最希望得到什么?让我这个死囚来告诉你。最希望的就是得到家人在旁的关心和支持。这个,我有;我在监狱里度过的日子都有运良和运中的陪伴,我们兄弟间的感情改善了。

那种期待的心情,我很难可以表达。我对我的家人,除了感恩,还是感恩。我要好好的利用这段时间,努力学习,好好做人,来报答他们。

许多死囚被家人都不知情

可是我知道,有很多的死囚从来没有人来看过他们,可能除了他们的律师以外。律师也是很久很久才来一次的。尤其是那些不是新加坡人的死囚。可能他们的家人也不 知道他们被关了起来。可能他们的情形就好像上面提到那年轻人的故事那样。可能他们死了,家人也不知道。我的心里很不好受。

我说我是幸福的,我很感恩。我知道,我的家人,给了我很多的支持。他们没有放弃我。

哥妹争取民众签名受委屈

我的姐姐妹妹,还有其他的亲戚朋友,他们到街头要求路边不认识的人签名,请求总统给我特赦。他们没有要求我被放出来,只是希望我不会被吊死。

我的妹妹才19岁,她很怕跟陌生人讲话,可是还是勇敢的做了。我的哥哥在他(工作)空档的两个小时,在乌节路找人签名。其实我知道,他们都很难受,都很辛苦,也常常挨骂,因为有人会骂他们,说为什么要救我,说应该因为我而感到羞耻,说我最该万死。因为我,他们要承受这种压力,我真的不知道该怎么说。

我有时在想,其他死囚的家人,会不会也在受这种压力,会不会因为这样而放弃他们,甚至不认他们了。如果是,我相信无论是家人和死囚,他们都很痛苦的。身在其中,我好像可以感受到他们的难处和折磨。阿弥陀佛。

在很多人的眼里,我们这些被关起来的人,是大罪人,不值得一提。可是我们的家人不是。他们要面对我们将被吊死的事实,已经是很痛苦,很残忍的了。

虽然未处决但心灵已死

如果一个死囚没有家人、朋友、社会的关注,再加上没有坚定的信仰的话,他可能在还没有被处决之前,心灵上已经死了。

很多死囚因为知道自己要死了,意志消沉;而在外不停为他们祈祷的家人,根本没有办法,死囚也因此认为自己没救了,就慢慢的放弃自己的生命,家人也在他们被处决之前,就当作他们已经死了。

没错,很多都是这样。

有福气能够体认生命可贵

可能我和菩萨有缘,或是我前世修来的福气,又或者如我爸说的,我的命很硬,有机会接触佛法,这让我在心灵上有了一定的信念;另外,我也碰见了好的律师,最重要的是,我知道社会上有一班人在为我请愿,我知道他们原谅我关心我,也在给我的家人支持,这些都给了我一种信心。

生命可贵,我上了一课。

English Translation : The power of supports

Yetian,

I have heard of one story.

There is a young man, he committed an offence and was sentenced to imprisonment. For a long time, his family did not visit him. Whenever he sees that other inmates have their family bring food for them, he feels unhappy and blames his parents.

One day, the prison warden told him that someone came to visit him. When he entered the visitor room, he saw his mother, she was dirty, shoes broken, and her feet full of blisters. Behind her, she was carrying an ashes urn.

He comes from a poor family, his father is a farmer. Their home located very far away from the prison. In order to gather enough money to come to see him, his father work too hard and he died as a result. His father last wish is to see his son. Therefore, his mother carry his father’s ashes, walk all the way to see him.

I heard that this is a real life story, and it has been made into movie.

Here, every Monday, is the family visiting day for death row inmate.

My family also stays far away from here. Luckily, I have two brothers who work in a hotel in Singapore. They have applied for leave from work on every Monday so that they can visit me. I heard from my brother that over the past few years, on every Monday, he sees a woman, walking slowing, hairs turn from dark to white, to come to visit someone, maybe her son. And, lawyer also told me that a father to a death row inmate, who wakes up at 3am in the morning on every Monday, rides on his motorcycle to cross the straits, so that he can see his son earliest possible.

Thus, we are considered lucky death row inmate.

In fact, when we are marked as “death row”, what are our wishes? Allowed me as a death row to tell you. Our wish is to have our family’s concern and support. This, I have; during those days when I was in prison, I have my brothers, Yun Leong and Yun Zhong’s company, relationship between us improve.

It is very difficult for me to express our feeling on how much we look forward to. To me family, I am grateful. I must utilize my remaining times fruitfully, learn hard, and be a good man, in order to repay their gratitude.

But I know that a lot of death row inmates do not have anyone to come and visit them, maybe other than their lawyers. Even lawyer only visit them once in a long period of time.  Especially those death rows who are not Singaporean. Maybe their family does not know that they are here being locked up. Maybe their situation is like the story of the young man I mentioned above. Maybe even if they are dead, their family will not find out. I am sadden by these facts.

I said I am a lucky one, I am grateful. I know that my family had given me a lot of supports. They did not give up on me.

My sisters, and other relatives and friends, they went out to the streets to ask for signature from those whom they do not know, to plea to the President to grant me clemency.  They did not ask that I be released from prison, but to spare my life so that I will not be hanged.

My younger sister is only 19 years old, she is always afraid to talk to stranger, yet, she put up the courage to do it. My brothers, whenever he has his break for two hours, he stands at Orchard Road to ask for signatures. I know that it is hard for them, it is difficult. They are also often being scolded. There are people who scold them, say that why should they help me, say that they should be ashamed of me, say that I deserve to die. Because of me, my family has to go through this kind of stress, I really don’t know what to say.

Sometimes I think to myself, the family of other death row, are they facing the same stress. Would it be because of this, they give up on them, to a point they disown them. If it would, then I believe that no matter it is the family or the death row inmate himself, they must be very tormented. Because I am in it, I almost can feel their difficulties and the torture. Amithaba.

In the eyes of many, we who had been locked up must be a big evil, not worth mentioning. But our family is not. They have to face the fact that we are going to be hanged to death, it is already very tormented, and cruel thing.

If a death row inmate does not have the concern from his family, friends and the society, couple with the fact that if he does not have a strong faith, then maybe before he is executed, he is already dead from heart.

A lot of death row inmates know that they are going to die, they loss their will to live; and their family who pray for them day and night, does not know what to do. As a result, they will think there is no more ways, and slowly give up on their own life, family also treats them as already dead even before they are executed.

Yes, a lot are like that.

Maybe it is my fate with the Goddess of GuangYin, maybe it is the luck I gathered from the good deeds I did in my previous life, or maybe like what my father said, my life is “tough”, I have the opportunity to find faith in Buddhism teachings, this make me strong spiritually; plus, I have a good lawyer, and most importantly, I know that there are those in the society who plea for me, I know that they have forgiven me and they care for me, and also giving my family the support they need, all these add to my confident in life.

Life is precious, I learned.

About givelife2ndchance

Give Life 2nd Chance is a movement dedicated to work on abolish death penalty in Malaysia.
This entry was posted in The Last 12 Chapters, Vui Kong Letter. Bookmark the permalink.

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