我的家人也住得很远。还好，有两个哥哥在新加坡的酒店里工作。他们向公司申请星期一放假来看我。我听哥哥说，这么多年来，每个星期一，他都会见到一位妇人， 拐着拐着，头发由黑变白，来看她的家人，可能是孩子吧。还有，律师也说过，有一位死囚的爸爸，每个星期一的凌晨三点，从新山驾摩多过来，为了赶在最早的时 间看他的儿子。
English Translation : The power of supports
I have heard of one story.
There is a young man, he committed an offence and was sentenced to imprisonment. For a long time, his family did not visit him. Whenever he sees that other inmates have their family bring food for them, he feels unhappy and blames his parents.
One day, the prison warden told him that someone came to visit him. When he entered the visitor room, he saw his mother, she was dirty, shoes broken, and her feet full of blisters. Behind her, she was carrying an ashes urn.
He comes from a poor family, his father is a farmer. Their home located very far away from the prison. In order to gather enough money to come to see him, his father work too hard and he died as a result. His father last wish is to see his son. Therefore, his mother carry his father’s ashes, walk all the way to see him.
I heard that this is a real life story, and it has been made into movie.
Here, every Monday, is the family visiting day for death row inmate.
My family also stays far away from here. Luckily, I have two brothers who work in a hotel in Singapore. They have applied for leave from work on every Monday so that they can visit me. I heard from my brother that over the past few years, on every Monday, he sees a woman, walking slowing, hairs turn from dark to white, to come to visit someone, maybe her son. And, lawyer also told me that a father to a death row inmate, who wakes up at 3am in the morning on every Monday, rides on his motorcycle to cross the straits, so that he can see his son earliest possible.
Thus, we are considered lucky death row inmate.
In fact, when we are marked as “death row”, what are our wishes? Allowed me as a death row to tell you. Our wish is to have our family’s concern and support. This, I have; during those days when I was in prison, I have my brothers, Yun Leong and Yun Zhong’s company, relationship between us improve.
It is very difficult for me to express our feeling on how much we look forward to. To me family, I am grateful. I must utilize my remaining times fruitfully, learn hard, and be a good man, in order to repay their gratitude.
But I know that a lot of death row inmates do not have anyone to come and visit them, maybe other than their lawyers. Even lawyer only visit them once in a long period of time. Especially those death rows who are not Singaporean. Maybe their family does not know that they are here being locked up. Maybe their situation is like the story of the young man I mentioned above. Maybe even if they are dead, their family will not find out. I am sadden by these facts.
I said I am a lucky one, I am grateful. I know that my family had given me a lot of supports. They did not give up on me.
My sisters, and other relatives and friends, they went out to the streets to ask for signature from those whom they do not know, to plea to the President to grant me clemency. They did not ask that I be released from prison, but to spare my life so that I will not be hanged.
My younger sister is only 19 years old, she is always afraid to talk to stranger, yet, she put up the courage to do it. My brothers, whenever he has his break for two hours, he stands at Orchard Road to ask for signatures. I know that it is hard for them, it is difficult. They are also often being scolded. There are people who scold them, say that why should they help me, say that they should be ashamed of me, say that I deserve to die. Because of me, my family has to go through this kind of stress, I really don’t know what to say.
Sometimes I think to myself, the family of other death row, are they facing the same stress. Would it be because of this, they give up on them, to a point they disown them. If it would, then I believe that no matter it is the family or the death row inmate himself, they must be very tormented. Because I am in it, I almost can feel their difficulties and the torture. Amithaba.
In the eyes of many, we who had been locked up must be a big evil, not worth mentioning. But our family is not. They have to face the fact that we are going to be hanged to death, it is already very tormented, and cruel thing.
If a death row inmate does not have the concern from his family, friends and the society, couple with the fact that if he does not have a strong faith, then maybe before he is executed, he is already dead from heart.
A lot of death row inmates know that they are going to die, they loss their will to live; and their family who pray for them day and night, does not know what to do. As a result, they will think there is no more ways, and slowly give up on their own life, family also treats them as already dead even before they are executed.
Yes, a lot are like that.
Maybe it is my fate with the Goddess of GuangYin, maybe it is the luck I gathered from the good deeds I did in my previous life, or maybe like what my father said, my life is “tough”, I have the opportunity to find faith in Buddhism teachings, this make me strong spiritually; plus, I have a good lawyer, and most importantly, I know that there are those in the society who plea for me, I know that they have forgiven me and they care for me, and also giving my family the support they need, all these add to my confident in life.
Life is precious, I learned.