最后的12章: 第七章《 父亲节快乐》

野田:

最近你好吗?我很好,谢谢你的关心,我在监牢里也过得很好,大家都对我很好。

踏进这个6月,大家也就准备庆祝父亲节了。在大家正在努力工作的时候,我希望大家还是要抽出一点时间回去看看父亲。

我爸爸在1993年,我还很小的时候就已经离开了我的妈妈,那个时候我们兄弟姐妹都非常的生气,也觉得非常伤心,因为从此以后妈妈就独自一个人,没有伴侣。

当时我们都怪爸爸,为什么这么狠心丢下我们全家人不管,那种恨、讨厌、生气在我们心里常常升起,可是我们还小,不能够做些什么事情,只能够不停的埋怨爸爸的狠心。

当时我还记得我们把所有事情都怪罪在爸爸的头上,唯有大姐玉英一个人了解,所以除了大姐,爸爸和其他子女的感情都非常疏远。但是对于仍然还是小孩子的我们也有认为,那些都是大人的事情,小孩子不方便讲评。

爸爸的离开对我而言是对妈妈的不公平,因为从此以后妈妈就必须一个人承担一家人的费用,她必须照顾我们全部人,也因为这样,我们几个兄弟姐妹从小被逼分开。

我还记得有一次我早上上课前,我因妈妈没有唤醒我而睡迟了,妈妈就这样被公公打了一顿,那次我躲在一角很害怕,但是我却恨不得想要用身体为妈妈挡拳头,那个时候我哭了,我发誓一定要早点出来工作带妈妈离开这个家。

那个时候我在想如果爸爸有在的话,妈妈就不会被打。但事情过了这么久,人事已非;读佛学佛让我不再生气爸爸和公公了。

父母对我们来讲是非常重要的,每个人都只有一对父母,一对有血缘关系的父母。

我不知道爸爸怎么看待与妈妈的婚姻感情,他或许认为是个错误的开始,或者他认为只是一个责任;但在儿女的心中,如果没有这个人,我们也没有机会出现在这个世界里。

我进来后,爸爸来看了我几次。他看起来老了很多。他每次都在我面前流眼泪。我知道他在责怪自己。而我,已经放下了以前的怨恨。我的心里,只有感恩。

我也有一个干爸爸。他是我好朋友的爸爸。他看我可怜收留了我大概2年的时间。我也要感恩他。听说为了我的事情,他也很伤心,并为我写了一封公开信。

在这里,我想说一声“父亲节快乐”。原谅我。

运良回去家乡后来找过我,我不停的向他询问妈妈的状况。妈妈一直存有“伟光在里头修行”的回忆,我希望她就永远保持这回忆。我希望她接下来的日子会过的好好。想起当初我答应自己要让妈妈好好过日子,我毕竟没有做到。这个任务要交给我的姐姐哥哥了。

运良告诉我,妈妈的病最近也好了许多,没有吃那么多的药,也一直有微笑。这对我来讲就是欣慰,虽然我没办法看到妈妈的笑容,但是哥哥的转述已经让我满足。到最后我的事情妈妈会不会知道,那就顺其自然吧。

野田,总统的决定即将要下来了,到底是好是坏,我希望大家都要接受。 我们要努力不要让下一个年轻人走上我这条路。想到这里,我也想到我的家人,他们真的很难过。我很对不起他们,为了我,承受很多压力。

当然我还是希望马来西亚政府可以帮助其他死囚,因为有些死囚是罪不至死的。

野田,工作繁忙之余,记得给家里人打个电话。

谢谢你。

伟光合十
30/5/2011

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野田后记:

大家若是有跟进伟光案件,对一些照片应该有印象;其中一张就是杨伟光的爸爸和家人跪在新加坡总统府前的照片,那一幕相信引发了很多人的眼泪。但根据运良的说法,伟光或许不知,爸爸曾经为他抛弃男人自尊,跪在总统府前。

运良最近回到家乡沙巴去了,他带了全家人去散心;我浏览着他的照片,尝试从照片中体验他们当时快乐的时光;但始终,少了些什么。

===================================

English translation:

The Seventh Letter: Happy Father’s Day

Yetian:

How are you these days? I am well, thank you for your concern. I do well in prison. Everyone treats me well.

Entering this June, everyone must be preparing to celebrate Fathers’ Day. Even though everyone is hard at work, I hope that you will all find some time to go back to visit your fathers.

In 1993, while I was still very young, my father left my mother. At the time all of the siblings were very angry and very upset, because from then on my mother was alone, with no companion.

At that time we blamed my father for being so cold-hearted as to abandon our family. We kept feeling hate, resentment and anger in our hearts. But we were young and there was nothing more we could do but resent my father’s cruelty.

I remember that back then we put all the blame on my father. Only my eldest sister Yu Ying alone understood, so apart from her, my father was estranged from the rest of his children. But even though we were young we also knew that these were grown-up matters, and it was not easy for us young ones to judge.

To me, my father’s leaving was unfair to my mother, because from then on my mother had to take on the burden of supporting a family alone. She had to take care of all of us, and because of that, at a young age we siblings had to be separated.

I still remember one morning before class, my mother did not wake me up and I overslept, and because of that my mother got a beating from my grandfather. At that time I hid in a corner and I was very scared, but I really wanted to use my own body to shield my mother. Then I cried and I vowed to go out to work as soon as possible so I could take my mother after from this place.

At the time I thought that if my father had still be around, my mother would not have been beaten. But this was so long ago, and things have already changed; studying and learning Buddhist philosophy has allowed me not to be angry with my father and grandfather anymore.

Parents are very important. Everyone needs their parents, parents who are bound to them by blood.

I don’t know how my father views his marriage with mother, perhaps he thought that it was a mistake from the beginning, or he just felt that it was a responsibility: but in the eyes of the children, without him we would not have been born into this world.

After entering prison, my father came to see me a few times. He looks much older now. He always cried before me. I know he blames himself. As for me, I have let go of the past resentment. In my heart I only have gratitude.

I also have a godfather. He is the father of my best friend. He pitied me and took me in for about 2 years. I am also grateful to him. I heard that because of my case, he was very upset, and wrote an open letter for me.

Here, I would like to say, “Happy Father’s Day”. Please forgive me.

Yun Leong came to see me after he went back to our hometown, and I keep asking him to tell me about how our mother is.He told me that my mother still thinks, “Vui Kong is inside meditating”. I hope that she will always think this. I hope that she will be well for the rest of her days. I remember that I wanted to give my mother a good life, but I did not succeed. This responsibility must now be taken up by my sisters and brothers.

Yun Leong tells me, our mother’s illness has improved recently. She does not take as much medication and she is always smiling. I was very glad to hear this. Although I cannot see my mother smiling, I am happy to hear it through my brother. Whether my mother will find out about my situation at the end, we will just let things take its course.

Yetian, the President decision will be coming. Whether it is good or bad, I hope that everyone will accept it. We must work hard not to let the next young person walk down the path I have taken. Thinking about this, I also think of my family. They are really very upset. I have let them down. Because of me, they are under a lot of pressure.

Of course I hope that the Malaysian government can help the other death row inmates, because some of them do not deserve to die.

Yetian, even if you are working hard, remember to at least make a phone call to your family.

Thank you.

Vui Kong
30/5/2011

************

Notes from Yetian:

To those following Vui Kong’s case, there are some photographs which might seem familiar to you: one of these photos is of Vui Kong’s father and family kneeling in front of the Istana in Singapore. I believe that photograph has brought tears to the eyes of many people. But according to Yun Leong, Vui Kong might not know that his father had put aside his pride and knelt before the Istana for him.

Yun Leong recently went back to his hometown in Sabah, to bring his family out to relax. I have been looking at his photographs, trying to imagine the happy times they had, but at the end of the day, something still seems to be missing.

About givelife2ndchance

Give Life 2nd Chance is a movement dedicated to work on abolish death penalty in Malaysia.
This entry was posted in The Last 12 Chapters, Vui Kong Letter. Bookmark the permalink.

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