最后十二章 : 第二章:《我与生命》

第二章:《我与生命》

野田,

拜一运良来看我的时候,带来你的信,听他说第一封信刊登了。

感恩你, 感恩无缘无亲发慈悲帮助我的恩人,感恩读这信的人。我真的很希望大家可以看到我的信,或许我希望可以和外界取得唯一的联系,就是透过这样的方法。

你说生命很可贵。

生命,对我来讲是最重要的一样东西,对我来讲很多东西都是很重要的,譬如说你只有一个家,生命亦是如此;你可以拥有很多金钱,很多物质的东西,但是生命对我而言就是一条。

本来我不重视我的生命,也并不尊重我的生命;后来我才知道不尊重自己生命的人,也不可能受到他人的尊重。

读了佛后,我觉得我的生命有一个任务。

看着我的狱友因无知被骗而失去生命,一个又一个,我很很痛心。阿弥陀佛。 我知道自己也会那样。所以,我要用我有生的每一天,告诉更多人关于我的故事,我要用佛的道理,奉劝大家不要误入歧途,成为下一个毒品死囚。也不要吸毒,不要因为这样而失去有用的生命。

当然,我希望我可以拥有更多的时间去修行,读更多的佛书,吸取更多佛陀的智慧,然后教导别人。但是,这终究还是要看缘份。

回想那一天,在扣留所见到运良时,我像小孩般的大哭,我很害怕,哭到手脚颤抖,几乎已经崩溃了,什么男子汉的气概完全都消失得无影无踪。

我很害怕死亡,我不知道死了过后,我要做什么?

阅读经典,梦见地藏王菩萨,我看破了很多事情,包括不贪婪生命;我这条生命是菩萨赋予给我的,虽然这么说有些不对,但是菩萨似乎已经安排好我的生死,而我已经接受了。

我非常感恩我的生命,感恩众仁众缘体心一致拯救我的生命,为我争取新加坡总统的宽赦,倘若我在这个时候放弃的话,那我不就让很多人失望吗?

我真的不想看到支持我帮助我勉励我给我勇气的恩人们伤心。

不知道为什么,我知道我的事情可能会影响很多人之间的争吵;我之前说过生命不是拿来浪费的,是拿来珍惜的,争吵就是浪费生命了。

我没有埋怨新加坡政府,更没有埋怨任何一个人,因为我坚持相信国有国法的,被抓到犯错就肯定要受到惩罚了。我也懂得,对于一个法治国而言,改变他们的法律可能比登天更加的难。

我不奢求任何的事情,只希望自己可以拥有更多的时间。

我是一个死囚,我没有权力谈论废除死刑,但是我还是觉得死刑是个不可行的惩罚。

感恩社会大众能原谅我。能够活到今天已经是我最大的福分了。我在此会照顾好自身,更努力上进自动向求学智慧。

你问我如果我有机会被赦免的话,我要做些什么?

我并不渴望离开监狱,反而觉得这里是个非常好修行的地方;纵使我自行剃度,已是个出家的身份,但我还是希望可以找到一个师傅替我剃度,正式进入佛门。

那在我有生之年,我会努力的把个人经验分享出去,我要像来监狱探望我的法师那样,不停的将佛陀的教育传播给大家。

我愿生生世世今至将来,愿为您们救渡人所救不到的罪苦众生。

就算我不能够得到第二次机会也好,我希望大家永远记得要给自己一个机会,这样生活会更加美好。

野田,辛苦你了,白天工作还要给我写信,我很开心和希望可以继续写下去。今天写到这里,阿弥陀佛。

伟光
22/4/2011

English translation:

The Second Letter: Me and My Life

Yetian,

Yun Leong brought your letter when he came to visit me on Monday. He told me that the first letter has been published.

Thank you, and thank you to all the kind-hearted strangers who have helped me. Thank you to all those who read my letters. I hope that everyone can read my letters. This is the only way for me to connect with the outside world.

You said that life is very precious.

To me, life is the most important thing in the world. There are many things that mean a lot to me. But even if you have a lot of money, or many material possessions, you still only have one life.

In the past, I did not value or respect my life. It was only later that I realised, those who do not respect their own lives, cannot expect others to respect them.

After turning to Budhhism, I realised that I have a responsibility in life.

I watch my fellow inmates losing their lives, one by one, because of they were ignorant, or easily misled. It breaks my heart. Amitabha. I know I’ll be just like them. So I would like to use every remaining day of my life to tell people my story. I want to use the Buddhist philosophy to tell everyone not to make mistakes, not to end up on death row because of drugs. I want to tell them never to take drugs and destroy their lives.

Of course, I hope that I can have more time to meditate, to read more Buddhist teachings and to absorb more Buddhist philosophy so that I can continue teaching others. But ultimately, this will all depend on fate.

Thinking back to the day after knowing my clemency is rejected,  Yun Leong came to see me at the detention centre, I was crying like a child. I was so afraid. My hands and legs were trembling as I cried. I had broken down. All my macho bravado had disappeared.

I was very afraid of death. I didn’t know what would happen to me after dying.

After reading the scriptures, I dreamed of the Earth Bodhisattva. I saw through many things, and learnt not to cling on to life. This life has been given to me by Buddha. He has made all the arrangements for me, and I accept them.

I am very grateful for my life. I am very grateful towards all those who have worked hard to try to save me, and to ask for the President of Singapore to grant me clemency. If I were to give up now, wouldn’t I be letting them down?

I really don’t want those who have supported me, helped me and encouraged me to be sad.

I don’t know why, but I know that my case has caused a lot of quarrels between people. I said before that life is nothing something to be wasted, but to be cherished. Quarreling is a waste of life.

I don’t blame the Singapore government. I don’t blame anyone. I believe that every country has its laws. If you make a mistake and get caught, then you deserve to be punished. I also know that Singapore is governed by a rule of law. Asking a country to change its law is a very difficult thing.

I don’t yearn for anything. All I want is more time.

I am a death row inmate. I have no right to ask for the abolishment of the death penalty. But I still feel that the death penalty is not a workable solution.

I am grateful to those who have been able to forgive me. It is a miracle that I have been able to live this long. I will take good care of myself, study hard and improve myself.

You asked me what I would do if I were granted clemency.

I don’t yearn to leave prison. In fact, that I think this is an excellent place to meditate and practice Buddhism. I’ve already devoted myself to Buddhism, but I hope to find a monk who will ordain me one day and officially accept me as a monk.

While I’m alive, I will work hard to share my experience with everyone. I want to be like the Buddist guru who visits me here regularly, and tirelessly share the wisdom of Buddhism with everyone.

I will devote my whole life to help those who other people are unable to reach.

Even if I do not get a second chance, I hope that everyone will always remember to give themselves a second chance. Life will be fuller and better this way.

Yetian, it’s been hard on you. You have to write to me even though you have to work. I am really happy, and hope to keep writing. I will stop here today. Amitabha.

Vui Kong
22/4/2011

About givelife2ndchance

Give Life 2nd Chance is a movement dedicated to work on abolish death penalty in Malaysia.
This entry was posted in The Last 12 Chapters and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 最后十二章 : 第二章:《我与生命》

  1. Jerree Pillai says:

    Dear Yong Vui Kong,

    I am glad to know you have direction in life, many don’t, yet they are free to do so. Your position makes me struggle to understand why would there be a law passed in parliament to kill people. Is this the folly of humans, where humans dig their own graves? It makes me think so.

    Vui Kong, please share more with the outside world what you think and what you do. Remember, Nelson Mandela was in jail for more than 25years, for something he believed in – Anti-Apathied. He is free now and his words are like jewel to many in this confused world. You have great wisdom at such a young age, don’t keep it, share it as much as you can.

    I also like to beg you not to be afraid of the Singapore government, speak your mind. Don’t tell us you don’t blame the Singapore government, don’t tell us you don’t blame the law. If you do, it will only make this barbaric law called Capital Punishment a success and there will be more lives lost under this law. So please be brave and speak against it. If you don’t, it will only make the Singapore government more at ease and say; well even Yong Vui Kong agrees that the law is not wrong and we did not do anything wrong. Save yourself first before anyone can save you.

    If GOD has decided your fate, than you are lucky. Don’t let Capital Punishment ( the barbaric law of Singapore ) decide your fate. Fight it, fight it like Nelson Mandela fought. You will be free.

    My prayers are with you and all the other souls with you, and your family members.

    GOD BLESS YOU.

    Jerree Pillai

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