道歉與寬恕

最近很多人輪流道歉,從被判死刑的楊偉光、3名涉嫌向祈禱室潑漆的少年,再到沙登國會議員張念群。

佛教的教訓中強調“立地成佛”、“眾生皆有佛性”,其他宗教也有同樣的道理。每個人都會犯錯,做錯了要覺悟,覺悟才能放下“妄想、分別、執著”,從而改過自新。

道歉是知錯、改錯的過程。道歉是一種心理上的彌補,雖然在法治社會,道歉不能終止法律上的制裁和追責,但至少是覺悟、是反省;讓人擔憂的是,一些人明知做錯了,還堅持自己沒有錯,以致墜入歪道中。

有些人犯錯是因為無知,譬如楊偉光和芙蓉3名少年;芙蓉祈禱室理事會主席的諒解和寬恕,實屬難得。

這些少年都是輟學生,因為接受太少教育,才輕易犯錯。家長和社會應關心這些迷途少年,以免鑄成大錯,悔之不及。

但有些人是有能力避免禍從口出,卻一再說錯話,譬如成龍。他因為推特的留言,傷害了香港人而道歉。

成龍不是小孩,他的程度和巨星身份有一段距離,他應該去進修,才不會拍來拍去都是雜耍式的動作片,說來說去,都同樣沒有水準。

聯昌集團首席執行員納西爾身居高位,都懂得去英國牛津大學進行研究,反觀一些資深政治人物,還在吃老米。

有些錯誤是體制上的問題,比如菲律賓貪腐嚴重,官賊難分、沒有專業水平,以致8名香港人質白白送死。

另一些人是因為政治上的需要,而故意挑撥,譬如一些印尼人向大馬駐印尼大使館拋擲糞便、燒大馬國旗,就是要從中得到廉價宣傳。

對於種種的疏漏、失言和過錯,應該根據不同的性質,做出不同的回應。我們可以譴責、可以要求懲罰,但不應該污蔑對方,使事情複雜化。

我不同意黃明志用粗口和不雅手勢,來攻擊發表種族性言論的國中校長,因為大家還要在這個國家一起生活。

我不贊同以燒印尼國旗的方式來反擊,因為這將淪落到和缺乏教養的印尼示威者同一水平。

我也不同意,組團去聲援失言的校長,這是在傳達不正確的訊息,是一種錯誤的示範。

在國慶日即將來臨之際,我們要有寬大的胸懷,從別人的錯誤中,看到自己的錯誤。我們請求寬恕楊偉光,自己能夠寬恕別人嗎?

如果人人都有這種從錯誤中學習、反省、自我提昇及寬恕的精神,大馬將是一個人間的天堂。

星洲日報/一心不亂‧作者:林瑞源‧《星洲日報》副總編輯‧2010.08.29

====================

Apology and forgiveness (Translation)

Lim Sue Goan, August 30, 2010

Many people have apologised recently, including young Malaysian Yong Vui Kong, who has been convicted and sentenced to death for drug trafficking in Singapore, three teenagers in Seremban, who were allegedly to have been involved in throwing paint and bottles at a surau, and Serdang MP Teo Nie Ching, who was in trouble after giving a talk in the prayer hall of a Kajang surau.

Buddhism’s lessons emphasise “good deeds” and “all sentient beings have Buddha nature”. Other religions have similar teachings, too. Everyone makes mistakes. One must aware of his or her own mistakes and only then, “wishful thinking, differences and persistence” could be laid down and the mistakes could be corrected.

Apologising is a process when we are aware of our mistakes and try to correct them. It is a kind of psychological offset. Although an apology is unable to end the sanctions and the pursuit of legal responsibility, it is at least meant to show awareness and reflection. However, it is worrying that some people still insist that they are not wrong even though they know it deep in their hearts that they are wrong.

Some people make mistakes because of ignorance, such as Yong Vui Kong and the three teenagers in Seremban. Although the understanding and forgiveness of surau committee chairman Mohd Hasbi Ismail is rare, it is very much appreciated.

The teenagers are dropouts and they easily made mistakes as they have received too little of education. Parents and the society should care more about these lost young people to avoid any regrettable mistake.

On the other hand, some people could actually avoid a disaster emanated from careless talk, but they just repeated the same mistakes, just like Hong Kong actor Jackie Chan. He apologised after his Twitter message hurt the feelings of some Hong Kong people.

Jackie Chan is not a child. His standard is having some distance from his superstar status. He should go study so that he would not continue making circus-style action films and low-standard remarks.

Even CIMB Group chief executive Datuk Seri Nazir Razak, who holds a top position in the group, will be heading to the Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies in the United Kingdom. But some senior politicians still refuse to improve themselves.

Some errors are systematic problems, such as the serious corruption in the Philippines. It is hard to distinguish between the officials and thieves and there is no professionalism at all, resulting in the death of eight Hong Kong tourists in the recent bus hijacking incident in Manila.

Meanwhile, some people are deliberately provocative because of political needs. For example, a group of Indonesians recently burnt Malaysian flags and hurled human faeces at the Malaysian Embassy in Jakarta to gain cheap publicity.

There can be different responses for these omissions, indiscretions and mistakes based on their nature. We may condemn or ask for punishment, but not maliciously defame them and make things more complicated.

I do not agree with Wee Meng Chee to attack the school principal, who was alleged to have made racial remarks, with foul language and obscene gestures as we still want to live together in this country.

I do not agree with the burning of Indonesian flags for revenge as it will degrade us to the same level as those Indonesian protestors.

I do not agree with the formation of a group to support the principal either as it will convey a wrong message and set a wrong example.

On the eve of the National Day, we must be broadminded and aware of our own mistakes through others’ mistakes. We ask for forgiveness for Yong Vui Kong, but can we forgive others?

If everyone possesses the spirit of learning from mistakes, reflection, self-improvement and forgiveness, Malaysia will then be a paradise on earth. — mysinchew.com

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/breakingviews/article/apology-and-forgiveness-lim-sue-goan/

About givelife2ndchance

Give Life 2nd Chance is a movement dedicated to work on abolish death penalty in Malaysia.
This entry was posted in Features / Articles and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s